yeah... parents suck sometimes [Archive]

Speed911

06-20-2007, 11:55 PM

So, me and my dad were talking about things about repairing the Jeep, and I asked him how much my KC lights would be, and he goes "You're not getting them, you can't use them on the road, and you sure as hell aren't going off road" "Well, why not dad?" "Because, I haven't done all the god **** work for you to go and tear it up off the road, and if you do I WILL find out and you won't get your Jeep back and there will be hell to pay. You already took it offroad behind my back once and you knew you weren' supposed to, so you're lucky it's being fixed now."

So, I'm now officially a mall crawler! How [edit]ing wonderful graemlins/bangwall.gif

[edit: please do not bypass the censorship program]

[ 06-20-2007, 11:33 PM: Message edited by: PB2 ]

tinknocker

06-21-2007, 12:19 AM

As a Parent i have to say you kids suck too!!! :D tongue.gif :D

4plugz

06-21-2007, 12:33 AM

Originally posted by tinknocker:
As a Parent i have to say you kids suck too!!! :D tongue.gif :D Yep... from time to time, anyways.

PB2

06-21-2007, 12:40 AM

If my dad told me I wasn't allowed to go offroad I'd just wait until he wasn't around and I'd do it anyway. If he found out I'd just say, "well, you're not the boss of me".

But then I'm 48 and I paid for my Jeep and if it breaks I pay to fix it myself.

OhioYJ

06-21-2007, 12:54 AM

I guess this really depends if you paid for the Jeep or not?

I paid for all my vehicles and always did my own work, so my mom never had a problem with me "abusing" my vehicles.

Don't try and sneak around, I always just told my parents what I was doing. Heck my mom came to the track several times to watch me run the 1/4. I've taken my mom out wheeling, even let her do some wheeling.

JD988

06-21-2007, 01:06 AM

lol.....my parents dont care if i go out offroad or w/e... its just, you break it, well that is your problem lmao.... or "dont get hurt!" but other than that... nothing major for me

haha but then again, my dad was completely nuts when he was my age, so i figure they really cant stop me from doing way less than what my father did haha... :D

Mean Max

06-21-2007, 01:20 AM

To Speed911 & tinknocker,
You're both right, parents suck, and kids suck! So it is, in the way of the world, there's nothing new there.

Try another approach. Go around your area and work diligently to find some dedicated offroaders, and don't be afraid to "shop" for guys that your Dad can connect with. Find out when & where they go wheeling, and see if they'll let you come along with them. You stand to learn a lot from their experience. Then, talk rationally with your Dad about him going with you and your new, mature offroad friends. If afterwards he thinks that you're really in this for the long haul, and that you're goal is to treat your Jeep responsibly, I would bet that he would be inclined to "loosening the reins" a bit.

Chances are, your Dad has made some bonehead moves in his past, and probably would never admit that to you. He only wants his son to have it better than he did. I know this for fact, because I have professionally converted some really nice vehicles into worthless hunks of scrap, and I would kill my kids if they did half of what I did.

Now, go spend some time really getting to know your Dad, you'll never regret it.

;)

OhioYJ

06-21-2007, 01:26 AM

Try another approach. Go around your area and work diligently to find some dedicated offroaders, and don't be afraid to "shop" for guys that your Dad can connect with. Find out when & where they go wheeling, and see if they'll let you come along with them. You stand to learn a lot from their experience.I'd say take your Dad with you to a club cruise in or something, and then maybe go on a club trail ride and invite your Dad. There's a big difference usually between going out wheeling with a club, and just a bunch of kids (no offense meant, as I'm a kid myself) driving through mud puddles with the skinny pedal planted.

Mean Max

06-21-2007, 01:29 AM

Originally posted by OhioYJ:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Try another approach. Go around your area and work diligently to find some dedicated offroaders, and don't be afraid to "shop" for guys that your Dad can connect with. Find out when & where they go wheeling, and see if they'll let you come along with them. You stand to learn a lot from their experience.I'd say take your Dad with you to a club cruise in or something, and then maybe go on a club trail ride and invite your Dad. There's a big difference usually between going out wheeling with a club, and just a bunch of kids (no offense meant, as I'm a kid myself) driving through mud puddles with the skinny pedal planted. [/QUOTE]Even better yet. Good call Mike!

b1pig

06-21-2007, 01:49 AM

if my oldest ever gets his head out of his 3rd point of contact.....

he'll be driving my '90 Tracker.. 4x4, 2.5" susp, 2.5" body lift.... currently on 31s. personally... i think that a 4wd should be used as a 4wd.... will he eventually take it somewhere offroad? yea. who will fix any damage? he will.

let me put it like this. My Mom bought me a Kawasaki Mojave 250 when I was 14. It was beat to hell and barely ran. My Dad was completely against it. He reluctanly loosened the noose after a couple of weeks. I later traded it for a good motorcycle.. which he refused to insure. Didnt want me killed, he said.

Again, my Mom took me for my license test... in her truck... with my brothers raggedy 74 Honda CB400f in back. ;) Course I had already traded the bike off for a car that did run to appease my pops....

I agree with what the other guys said. You are gonna have to do what Pops said so long as he is footing the bill for the rig. I'd expect my kids to look at it the same way. Remember the all-true saying. One day you'll have kids of your own. ;)

Hell the last thing you want him to do is take the Jeep and give you a 85 Corolla Wagon, right?

PB2

06-21-2007, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by b1pig:
Hell the last thing you want him to do is take the Jeep and give you a 85 Corolla Wagon, right? That reminds me of what I did to my son. I had give him my '84 Toyota 4x4 pickup and within a year he had blown out the rear end, the tranny, and burned up a brand new set of 31x10.50's. I had told him I would sign it over to him when he turned 18which was only a couple of months away. Then he blew the engine. After the engine was rebuilt it had a knock. I asked him not to drive it until we could take it back apart and find out what we had done wrong but he kept driving it anyway. He told me he only wanted it to run long enough for me to sign it over to him so he could sell it and buy something he really wanted. For his 18th Birthday I paid $100 for a 1980 Mercury Sable. It looked just like the car from Road Trip. He hated it. He said he didn't like it and would not drive it. I told him I didn't care if he did or not but he wasn't going to drive any of my cars or the truck and if he wanted to drive at all, that was it. After a while he started driving it around a little but he always hated it. He learned a very valuable lesson in taking care of things that belong to other people, and about keeping his mouth shut.

I B JEEPIN

06-21-2007, 10:53 AM

4 Wheeling is how I taught two of my daughters to drive. I just had them put it in 4 low and turned them loose. Now one has a 04 TJ and the other has a 97 TJ. the third daughter has a Liberty.

4bob4

06-21-2007, 11:26 AM

Originally posted by I B JEEPIN:
the third daughter has a Liberty. And we don't like her very much. :D :D Only Kidding!

As far as the father thing goes I know how it can be parents can think they have your best interest at heart (they usually do) and you may not see it. Try to look at from your dad's point of view he is shelling out a lot of money to fix the Jeep and sees going off road as just a bunch of opportunities to break it again. Like everyone else said sit down with him and try to talk it out rather than yell it out. Hope it all works out for you.

Jason Clark

06-21-2007, 11:35 AM

When I was a kid, I had my eye set on an early '80's CJ. My old man refused because he knew how he was as a kid, and I was acting just like him. He knew I wouldn't live to see my 18th if I had that CJ. Looking back, he was probably right. Heck, when I was 19 I mashed the passenger side of a Ford Maverick into a mountain while out with some friends acting a fool. We were lucky to be able to walk away from it.

Now, I am in between Jeeps, and I am pretty certain that my son will want one when he gets older. (He is three and he usually sees them on the road before I do.)

Find a local club (as already suggested). Get in contact with them on your own. DO NOT TAKE THE JEEP OFF THE PAVEMENT...yet!! "Innocently" take your dad to one of the meets. Most clubs will meet at a local restaurant on a regular basis. Talk to the older members more than the younger ones. This will show your dad that you are trying to be more sensible than just mashing the skinny pedal through a mud hole.

Start buying your own parts. I don't mean lights and stereos either. I am talking drivetrain, suspension, and body. Leave asthetics for later. Right now you are trying to impress that you are not the hard-headed twit that your father knows that you are (we all either are or were hard-headed twits...not to worry, most people grow out of that at some point).

Goofatyerservice

06-21-2007, 12:06 PM

My parents just didn't want me risking tooo much damage when I was younger. Then as I got older- and they found out I'd pay or do the work myself- that I could handle it- it was an expensive hobby- but I wasn't getting into trouble.

As long as he's footing the bill, he's calling the shots- and I think that's fair.

I'll never forget my dad saying "when it's your car- you can control what's on the radio" --- first time dad got in my Jeep and reached for the radio I smacked his hand. He looked at me like "HOW DARE YOU STOP ME FROM CHANGING MY RADI..... aw crap."

The look on his face was priceless, and we turned it to some news-radio station anyway - but he understood.

CjRobPos85

06-21-2007, 12:28 PM

why not work on the jeep with your dad and take him offroad somewhere ligth but a little challenging let him drive here and there so you both can enjoy it and if it breaks you fix it and pay for everything...........

Speed911

06-21-2007, 01:13 PM

Well, it's not like he's done all the work repairing the accident, and I'm ALWAYS willing to learn how to fix broken things, especially on the Jeep. And it's not like he's paid for everything on it either, i've paid about half of the wreck. Although, and I've tried telling him that I'm not a mud***** or anything like that, I'd just like to do light trails, and MAYBE small rocks, but I'm gonna try to talk to him a little bit and see if it helps any. But there aren't any Jeep clubs around here though.

4bob4

06-21-2007, 01:25 PM

A Jeep jambo or Camp Jeep would help him out a lot probably too if you could get him to go with you. Lot's of good people there and you only have to do what level trails you feel comfortable doing.

Jason Clark

06-21-2007, 02:11 PM

From Conyers , Ga, you are about 20 miles outside of Atlanta to the west. Southern Jeeps (http://www.southernjeeps.org) is just one club in the Ga area, and Atlanta in particular.

You can email them and get more info on meet times and locations.

Email: atlanta-off-road@atlanta-off-road.org

By the way, I found this info, and ensured that the link was good, on this page in the green bar to the left under "The Jeep Lifestyle" where it says "Jeep Clubs & Off-Road Parks".

4bob4

06-21-2007, 02:17 PM

I don't think he's over 18 are you speed?

edit: Yeah he's not but you may want to contact them and see if they'd let you tag along for a while anyway since your dad is gonna be with you.

That was my problem for a while now I'm just too lazy to go find one and the jeep isn't running so well. Soon I'll join a club though.

edudley

06-21-2007, 10:09 PM

Try this approach. Follow the ideas above about going out with a Jeep sclub. Then let your dad know that it will give you several weekends per year that the two of you can do something together. You see y son is now 22 and for 6 years we have enjoyed many great Jeep trips. Some even hundreds of miles away. You dad may not admit it but he will soon realize that your time togehther is going to soon be over as you grow and move on with your life. As a parent it is hard to accept that the time will end so it is important to do all you can to spend time together. Jeeps ar are a great way to do so. Tell him I said you have to pay to play so suck it up and have fun.

tj-mitch

06-21-2007, 10:18 PM

Originally posted by edudley:
Try this approach. Follow the ideas above about going out with a Jeep sclub. Then let your dad know that it will give you several weekends per year that the two of you can do something together. You see y son is now 22 and for 6 years we have enjoyed many great Jeep trips. Some even hundreds of miles away. You dad may not admit it but he will soon realize that your time togehther is going to soon be over as you grow and move on with your life. As a parent it is hard to accept that the time will end so it is important to do all you can to spend time together. Jeeps ar are a great way to do so. Tell him I said you have to pay to play so suck it up and have fun. Ive been trying to get my dad back into motorcycles and even into jeeps, he is quickly realizing that i am leaving in about 2 months, if not less... he has started to show an interest in the things i do... just to spend time together, I must say, it is very nice.
I agree with what edudley said...

Speed911

06-21-2007, 11:07 PM

I have tried talking to him rationally. I've tried to tell him that I'm not gonna be a mud jumper, and I'm not gonna go crawling in the moab. I wanna go down light trails, and feel safe and comfortable doing it. I feel comfortable with 2 sets of extra lights, and some other mods, especially living out here in the boonies. I've tried to tell him that I would never be stupid enough to go alone, and to not take medical supplies, hardware, etc. And I've tried telling him I'm not gonna have a lead foot out there in the woods, I don't anyway (And especially now!) But he's got it bent in his mind that no matter what I do, or where I go, if remove those tires from the pavement that I'm gonna break something and tear it up. I dunno what to at this point. I've tried explaining that I'm as safe as I possibly can be, but he just won't listen. I dunno what to do at this point. I might as well not buy anything else for the Jeep. I was gonna have enough by the end of the summer for a lift, and tires, but no point in that anymore. I think I'll invest in some speakers and a head unit. Stock sounds like poo. I'm not even gonna bother askinghim to do the whole come along with me thing. These would be the exact words from his mouth "We bond when you come to the [fire] house, and you enjoy that don't you?" or something along those lines. Now don't get me wrong, I love my parents, both of them very much, but they're both, and my dad especially are some of the most hard headed people I've ever seen.

Just change my status to "Forced Mall Crawler" or "Shouldn't own a Jeep" or something like that graemlins/bangwall.gif :(

EDIT: Bob, I coulda sworn I saw you today in conyers, there was a black CJ that looked almost identical to yours. I did a double take, and realised it had a chrome bumper. And I wrote on your cardomain wall btw...

Mean Max

06-21-2007, 11:18 PM

Originally posted by Speed911:
I'm not even gonna bother asking him to do the whole come along with me thing. These would be the exact words from his mouth "We bond when you come to the [fire] house, and you enjoy that don't you?" or something along those lines. Now don't get me wrong, I love my parents, both of them very much, but they're both, and my dad especially are some of the most hard headed people I've ever seen. At least give him the chance to say it, instead of assuming the worst. Besides, I think that if you guys were to go to a "Show-n-Shine" type Jeep event, he'll see things a little differently, and then just ease your way into the rest of it.

With regards to the last line I quoted you on, if you just assume the worst, then the apple don't fall too far from the tree, huh?

;)

Speed911

06-21-2007, 11:22 PM

Never said I wasn't hard noggined did I? If I wasn't I wouldn't be pressing the issue would I? ;) But, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask...

Mean Max

06-21-2007, 11:28 PM

Atta boy!

tongue.gif

Speed911

06-22-2007, 12:00 AM

Well come on, look at it from my perspective, it's hard not to think that. Just look how it's been going so far, and that's minus all the previous and side convos about it. Wouldn't you be discouraged too?

Mean Max

06-22-2007, 12:15 AM

I can see your point, but like the old saying, "it's tough to teach an old dog a new trick". Dear old Dad has been telling you what to do your whole life, this won't magically change when you celebrate any particular birthday. Let cooler heads prevail, and work on him gently & persistantly, it'll pay off in the long run. Remember these things:

The young man that runs out to set the world on fire, may have to come back for more matches.

Slow & steady wins the race.

Patience young grasshopper.

Training parents is a slow process. It'll happen, just probably not as soon as you'd like.

:cool:

Speed911

06-22-2007, 12:16 AM

Gosh, I like all the wise ole geezers 'round here :D

(kidding, for all of those with a different sense of humor)

Mean Max

06-22-2007, 12:20 AM

What's that there sonny? Ya gots to speak into my good ear.........

:rolleyes:

Speed911

06-22-2007, 12:22 AM

Originally posted by Mean Max:
What's that there sonny? Ya gots to speak into my good ear.........

:rolleyes: I didn't realise there was a good one tongue.gif

(I'm kidding of course)

Mean Max

06-22-2007, 12:27 AM

Careful there, I may have to resort to sign language, and I only know one hand sign........

tongue.gif

I B JEEPIN

06-22-2007, 09:23 AM

Stop bashing your dad. Just be glad you still have him. I lost mine two years ago he was 90 years old. I miss him everyday.

Jason Clark

06-22-2007, 10:01 AM

Originally posted by I B JEEPIN:
Stop bashing your dad. Just be glad you still have him. I lost mine two years ago he was 90 years old. I miss him everyday. Lost mine, it will be four years in October.

He was 57.

loaf

06-22-2007, 10:50 AM

ARGH!!!! All these black and white avatars are playing with my brain!!

JeepManInNJ

06-22-2007, 04:14 PM

Originally posted by Loaf:
ARGH!!!! All these black and white avatars are playing with my brain!! Get a room :D :eek:

The Duke

06-22-2007, 06:29 PM

Hey man, I know how you feel, but you still gotta try.

When you are doing mods to it, get your dad involved. Ask him to help you install that winch or new bumper. My dad has helped me on 80%+ of the work and mods I've done and he often will go with me when I wheel.

It's all up to you to work on him and get him into it. Give it time and the JeepBug WILL bite him and before you know it he will want his own rig and will go with you.

Time and patience, man. Right now time may be something you think you don't have, but now is when you do have the most time.....make the most of it.

Texas4X4

06-22-2007, 09:47 PM

well speed, im comin from the same mess your in....i have an overprotective mom and she used to freak out about me takin it off road, and my dad just went along with her....but id take it muddin anyway and guess what THEY NEVER FIND OUT!!! but i think my dad knows anyway but hes always told me, if i break it, i fix it

4bob4

06-23-2007, 12:47 AM

Originally posted by Texas4X4:
but i think my dad knows anyway believe me he does.

Texas4X4

06-23-2007, 01:33 AM

yeah he used to have an old CJ back in the day but he sold it for a charger

88jeepin

06-23-2007, 02:22 AM

yea, my dad told me hed be home at 8ish to help me replace my brake line becuase it blew up on me the other day. (he has the tool i need in his truck(torx screwdriver) well anyway he just got home and he dont wanna do it now and i have work at 9 tomorrow mornin. screw this!! graemlins/argue.gif graemlins/soapbox.gif graemlins/bangwall.gif

Speed911

06-23-2007, 05:22 PM

Well, as I thought he said no to the whole club thing. He's just not too keen on me leaving the road. I suppose he thinks that if I wrecked on the road, then I'm gonna total it going off road. I've given him the arguement that he said that I could do anything with it as long as I had the money for the parts to do things with, and now he says "it's my Jeep, so I tell you where it goes." Idk what's up with the attitude change about it, but there's nothing I can really do about it. We do every little bit of work on it together, and I'm ALWAYS asking questions about how a wire goes, or how this works, etc etc. But, I guess I'll have all the fun once I'm out on my own... Who's to say how long that'll be. I already know "real life" after leaving home isn't easy, so I'm in no hurry to leave em. I just gotta listen to them, and wait it out, and there's really not much I can do about it. graemlins/boohoo.gif

The Duke

06-23-2007, 11:11 PM

Originally posted by Speed911:
I just gotta listen to them, and wait it out That's right.

Soon enough you will be on your own and then you will be afraid to wheel it because it's your DD and if you break it and repair it you can't pay your rent, but if you break it and don't repair it you can't get to work.

I don't know what your or your parents financial situation is, but in mine, I'm damn lucky I have the rig at all.

Speed911

06-23-2007, 11:27 PM

Originally posted by The Duke:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Speed911:
I just gotta listen to them, and wait it out That's right.

Soon enough you will be on your own and then you will be afraid to wheel it because it's your DD and if you break it and repair it you can't pay your rent, but if you break it and don't repair it you can't get to work.

I don't know what your or your parents financial situation is, but in mine, I'm damn lucky I have the rig at all. [/QUOTE]Financial income? well let's see, I wrecked 2 cars in 2 days, we just bough a new car 2 days before my incidents, so now we have a car payment, electric bill, internet, tv, etc (everyday things besides water, we're on well water, and all vehicles and house paid for) taxes and things, on an LT. Firefighter's income. It ain't exactly easy. And that's another reason that I DO understand when it comes to me offroading is the potential expense it has, we can't really afford it atm either